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  Praise for

  Growing Young

  “An unusually intriguing and useful read about how our psychology affects our longevity. If you care about the length and quality of your life but can’t stomach yet another diet or workout routine, this book is for you.”

  —Adam Grant, New York Times bestselling author of Originals and Give and Take, and host of the TED podcast, WorkLife

  “Finally, a lifestyle book that transcends diet and exercise as solutions for living longer. This well-researched book shows us the subtle power of community and connection as tools for a quest to live to 100.”

  —Dan Buettner, National Geographic Fellow and New York Times bestselling author of The Blue Zones

  “The more we learn about the human body, the more we realize how powerful the connection between happiness and health is. Research-based, practical, and insightful, Growing Young makes this relationship come to life. A must-read.”

  —Shawn Achor, New York Times bestselling author of Big Potential and The Happiness Advantage

  “Growing Young is one of the best books I have read on the topic of the mind and its interconnectedness with our body and other human beings.”

  —Emeran Mayer, author of The Mind-Gut Connection

  “Friendship is the most important journey we ever venture on. Read Marta Zaraska’s Growing Young and find out why.”

  —Robin Dunbar, evolutionary psychologist and author of How Many Friends Does One Person Need?

  “Growing Young is a smart, fresh take on longevity. Deeply researched, fascinating, and engaging, it offers readers useful advice on how to maximize their lifespan, in easy, practical, and unexpected ways.”

  —Joshua Becker, author of The More of Less

  “Growing Young tells us how to have a long and happy life: Never stop learning and growing. Marta Zaraska’s recipes may come from the frontier of research, but it is based on such an elegant distillation of the science that Growing Young is as fascinating as it is persuasive.”

  —Richard Wrangham, professor of biological anthropology at Harvard University and author of The Goodness Paradox

  “Marta Zaraska’s Growing Young shows that what matters most is what helps us live the longest! This accessible, well-researched, and thoughtful book is essential reading.”

  —Greg McKeown, author of the New York Times bestselling Essentialism

  ALSO BY MARTA ZARASKA

  Meathooked: The History and Science of Our 2.5-Million-Year Obsession with Meat

  Copyright © 2020 Marta Zaraska

  All rights reserved. The use of any part of this publication, reproduced, transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, or stored in a retrieval system, without the prior written consent of the publisher—or, in case of photocopying or other reprographic copying, license from the Canadian Copyright Licensing Agency—is an infringement of the copyright law.

  Appetite by Random House® and colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.

  Library and Archives of Canada Cataloguing in Publication is available upon request.

  ISBN 9780525610182

  Ebook ISBN 978525610199

  Cover design: Kate Sinclair

  Cover image (cake): CSA-Printstock/Getty Images

  Published in Canada by Appetite by Random House®,

  a division of Penguin Random House Canada Limited.

  www.penguinrandomhouse.ca

  a_prh_5.5.0_c0_r0

  For Ellie and Maciek—you’ve added many years to my life

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  WRITING A BOOK CAN BE quite unhealthy at times: the anxiety, the coffee…On the other hand, the research for Growing Young has connected me with so many kind people I have a feeling that in the end, true to its spirit, it greatly benefited my well-being—and potentially my longevity. I’m particularly grateful to all the scientists who let me into their labs, patiently explaining the nuances of their work: Lynne Cox, with her passion for aging cells and nematode worms; Robin Dunbar, with his unique insights on synchrony (love your office); and Aura Raulo, who let me follow her around the Oxfordshire woods in search of mice while I peppered her with dozens of questions. Carmine Pariante and Naghmeh Nikkheslat—thank you so much for the hours you’ve spent analyzing my cortisol levels. Without you, my little “experiment” on random kindness and stress levels would not have happened. David Sarphie—learning about leukocyte coping capacity was truly fascinating (and the finger pricking wasn’t that bad). Jean-Marie Robine—thank you for enduring the flood of calls and emails about Jeanne Calment. My heartfelt appreciation also goes to the whole Roots of Empathy team, including Christine Zanabi, Cheryl Jackson, and Libby and baby Evelyn—keep doing your amazing work. I’m also deeply indebted to my guide to Japan, Airi Amemiya, who was invaluable in organizing my trip, showing me around Matsudo. Naoki Kondo, Yukiko Uchida, and Shiro Horiuchi helped me navigate the complexities of Japanese culture. Richard Wrangham—thank you for explaining to me how humans self-domesticated. John Gottman—your insights about marriage not only benefited my book, but also my private life.

  I’m also grateful to all the people who patiently shared their fascinating stories with me, bringing me a bit closer to understanding the many connections between our mindsets and our health: Lara Aknin—for disclosing her stories on kindness and donations, including the personal ones. Thorbjørn Knudsen—for showing me the extent to which yoga can change us (I’m deeply impressed—and slightly jealous). Vanessa Coggshall—for sharing the bits and pieces of her life with Emmy. Robin Thompson—for opening up about her experiences with shunning. Fujita Masatoshi, Saitou-san, Michiko-san, and Chiaki-san—for letting me experience the great Japanese culture. Katarzyna—for the cuddles. Thank you.

  And then there were dozens upon dozens of researchers who generously replied to emails in which I bugged them about their studies as I tried to understand the intricacies of the caregiving system or the HPA axis. Frans de Waal, Boris Bornemann, Fabrizio Benedetti, Larry Young, David Mroczek, John Malouff, Tristen Inagaki, Johan Denollet, Stephen Porges, Rael Cahn, Donald J. Noble, Perla Kaliman, Simon N. Young, Frank Hu, David Steinsaltz, David Sbarra, Janice Kiecolt-Glaser, Thomas Bosch, Kathryn Nelson, Dan Weijers, Kirsten Tillisch, Ed Diener, Paul McAuley, Igor Branchi, Jessica Lakin, and Stefan Schreiber are just a few to whom I’d like to express my gratitude.

  Of course, this book would never have happened if it weren’t for my lovely and hard-working agent, Martha Webb, as well as for my lovely and hard-working editor, Bhavna Chauhan. Thank you! I’m also grateful to Tom Asker at Little, Brown for believing in Growing Young and for introducing it to the British market.

  Last but not least, a big, big thank-you to my husband, Maciek, for his unwavering support and enthusiasm, and to my daughter, Ellie, for remaining cheerful even when I shut myself for hours in my office, writing. Each and every day you help me grow young.

  CONTENTS

  Acknowledgements

  Introduction

  PART ONE: THE MIND-BODY CONNECTION AND ITS LONGEVITY CONSEQUENCES

  1. Is Death Optional?

  Immortal Animals, Zombie-Killing Pills, and Super-Centenarians

  2. How Your Mind Talks With Your Body

  Mortgage Worries, Stress-Resistant Nazis, and a Few Trillion Microbes

  3. A Sniff of Love

  How Social Hormones Influence Our Relationships and Longevity

  PART TWO: HOW YOUR RELATIONSHIPS AND YOUR MIND CAN PROLONG YOUR LIFE

  4. Ditch Goji Berries

  Why Many Diet and Exercise Interventions Matter Less than You Think


  5. The Gnawing Parasite of Loneliness

  Why Feeling All Alone May Shorten Your Life

  6. Friends with (Longevity) Benefits

  How Marriage and Friendships Prolong Life

  7. Chameleons Live Long

  Empathy, Attachment, and Social Grooming

  8. Helping Others Helps Your Health

  Superheroes, UNICEF, and Random Kindness

  9. Why Personality and Emotions Matter for Longevity

  Don’t Worry, Be Happy—and Organize Your Sock Drawer

  10. How Meditation and Mindfulness Boost Health

  Slow Breathing, Yoga Rats, and Horror-Stricken Leukocytes

  11. Longevity Lessons from Japan

  Ikigai, Cherry Blossoms, and Working Till You Drop

  Epilogue

  Notes

  INTRODUCTION

  WHEN I WAS A CHILD, besides teaching me how to ride a bike and how to mow the lawn without cutting through the electrical cord, my father taught me the importance of diet and exercise for health and longevity. He instilled in me the importance of eating five veggies a day (and steamed broccoli in particular), the vital role of healthy, unsaturated fats, and the power of phytonutrients found in dark chocolate and red wine. He insisted I play tennis, took me cross-country skiing, and inspired me with his exercise routine—an hour each day, rain or shine. Like any parent, he wants to see me, his child, live to a hundred.

  Now that I’m a parent too, I find myself with a similar wish. I want my daughter to one day become a centenarian. What’s more, I want to live long enough myself to see her blow out eighty candles on her birthday cake. And so, since the day she was born, I’ve been fretting over our diets. I mashed organic peas, puréed heritage tomatoes, and froze nutritious soups. In the meantime, I forced myself to eat goji berries and drink kale juice. I encouraged my husband to try fasting and nagged him to go to the gym. I ran a half-marathon. I suffered through thousands of sit-ups.

  In the meantime I was writing stories on health and psychology for the Washington Post, Scientific American, and many other news outlets. I was digging through hundreds of research papers a year and talking with dozens of scientists. And out of this research a new story began emerging, whether I liked it or not: that my sit-ups and kale juice were not as important to health as I used to think. Intrigued, I delved deeper into the topic. I really wanted to make sure I was doing the best I could to help us all live to a hundred. What I found, repeated over and over in academic papers, shattered my long-held beliefs. Diet and exercise were not the most important things I should be working on to encourage my family’s longevity. Instead of shopping for organic goji berries, I should have concentrated on our social lives and psychological makeup. I should have looked for a purpose in life, not the best fitness tracker.

  Yet I’m certainly not alone. In our culture we tend to think about longevity in terms of healthy food and exercise. Asked in a poll what they were doing to stay healthy, 56 percent of Americans mentioned “physical activity” and 26 percent “watching food/drink.” The only category that might have involved boosting relationships or changing mindsets was “other”—and it got just 8 percent of the vote. We don’t realize that volunteering or investing in friendships can help increase our lifespans. Instead, we worry about gluten and obsess about pesticides and mercury in fish. We sign up for Zumba and spinning classes. We search for easy rejuvenating therapies.

  The global anti-aging market is already worth upward of $250 billion, and Americans spend more on longevity cures than they do on any other kind of drug, even though most are untested by science. We love pills: about a half of Americans and Canadians take at least one dietary supplement. There are now over 55,000 such products on the US market alone, from moringa leaves to ashwagandha powder. And then, we diet. In one survey, 56 percent of women said they wanted to lose weight to live longer, yet the research on whether this will work is ambiguous. A recent review of almost a hundred studies showed that people who have a BMI (body mass index) of 30 to 35 (that’s grade one obesity) are 5 percent less likely to succumb to the grim reaper than those who are lean.

  Of course, eating healthy food and doing sports are important for health and longevity, but not as important as we tend to think (and certainly moringa leaves are not required). It’s a bit like with smoking and nutrition. Smoking a pack of cigarettes a day is so bad for you that it overshadows the best of diets, but that doesn’t mean that non-smokers can rest on their laurels and stuff themselves with junk food. Apart from shunning tobacco, investing in a thriving social life might be the best thing you could do for your longevity. Consider the numbers. Studies show that building a strong support network of family and friends lowers mortality risk by about 45 percent. Exercise, on the other hand, can lower mortality risk by 23 to 33 percent. Eating six or more servings of vegetables and fruits per day, which is admittedly quite a lot, can cut mortality risk by roughly 26 percent, while following the Mediterranean diet—eating lots of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, replacing butter with olive oil, etc.—21 percent. Of course, such numbers should be taken with caution, coming as they do from studies with varying methodologies, which means they are not straightforward to compare; but they do reveal some important general trends.

  The Mediterranean diet has long been touted as the holy grail for those who want to live to a hundred. Just look at my current fellow countrymen, the French: their average lifespan is over four years longer than that of Americans. The longest-lived human ever was French, too. Among Italians, those from Sardinia (a so-called longevity “blue zone”) are twenty times as likely as Americans to become centenarians. And so we put the Mediterranean diet under the microscope, analyzing how much cheese the French eat, why skipping breakfast doesn’t kill them, and how many grams of fruits they eat each day (and how many of these come in the form of Cabernet). Yet the French don’t obsess about the latest dietary fads as much as North Americans or British people do. Along the Seine, gluten doesn’t seem to equal evil and neither do carbohydrates.

  The French do obsess about their eating—just about a very different aspect of it. Consider my friend’s family. For them, not sitting together for dinner, even if it’s just an ordinary Monday dinner, is sacrilege. My friend will rush home from our yoga classes and will dash around a supermarket without paying attention to labels (organic? who cares!) just to be on time for the daily dinner ritual. Among the French, 61 percent of those in their thirties and forties eat dinner with their family, at the table, each and every day. Now compare that to the mere 24 percent of Americans that age who do so—and the American data doesn’t even specify whether the surveyed people ate together at the table or while watching TV.

  What’s more, the French, just like the Italians, love their apéro (or aperitivo, for the Italians). You meet with friends, you drink, you snack. Sometimes you snack so much it’s considered dinner—and called apéro dinatoire. The French love of apéro is matched only by their love of outings to restaurants—often with the whole family in tow, from kids to grandparents and the family dog. I’ve even once seen a family bring their horse to a restaurant. It was summer, so they dined outdoors—thankfully. Maybe the life-prolonging aspect of the Mediterranean diet is not the amount of vegetables and olive oil it contains, but the way these foods are eaten—together with others. Maybe it’s not what they eat, but how they eat.

  In recent years science has begun to unveil how much our minds and bodies are intertwined. Technological advances in molecular biology and brain imaging techniques allow researchers to look deeper into the many links between our thoughts and emotions and our physiology. The vagus nerve, the social hormones oxytocin and serotonin, the stress axes such as the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis—all of these emerge as the reasons behind why friendships or kindness matter for longevity. Oxytocin, for example, has been linked with our social skills on one hand, and with health on the other. It has anti-inflammatory prop
erties, reduces pain, and helps bone growth, potentially preventing osteoporosis. Studies also show that spraying oxytocin into the nostrils of squabbling married couples makes them more likely to reconcile. It makes us better at reading facial expressions of emotions, and it makes us more trusting. It can even make husbands stand further away from pretty women. Gut microbiota, another link between the body and the mind, play a role in many diseases including diabetes, multiple sclerosis, and allergies, while also affecting emotions and personality. The vagus nerve, the longest of the nerves that emerge directly from the brain, which is responsible for breathing, swallowing, and digestion, has been implicated in sudden psychogenic death reported among the tribes of Africa and the islands of the Pacific.

  Some of the discoveries in the field of mind-body connections make it to the media and into the popular culture, yet when it comes to longevity and aging we still seem to prefer a reductionist, strictly biological approach. Take this pill. Eat this superfood. If you do all that, your cells will rejuvenate. It all sounds very authoritative and unambiguous. It’s easy to calculate, to the gram, how many leafy vegetables you ate today, how much anti-cancer glucosinolate you ingested with your broccoli, and, thanks to your pedometer, how many steps you took this week. Ray Kurzweil, a futurist, an inventor, and an engineering director at Google, reportedly downs as many as ninety pills a day in an effort to keep himself young.

  I fell for the reductionist approach, too. When my six-year-old daughter announced she was going vegetarian, I scoured the internet for the best sources of vitamin B12 and iron, calculating to the tenth of a milligram how much she might ingest with every meal. And so I discovered, for instance, that if I had her snack on ten hazelnuts a day that would provide her with 0.48 milligrams of iron. I even started wondering how to add turmeric to every possible recipe—after all, it has an astounding 55 milligrams of iron per 100 grams. Many of us like the safety of numbers, the reassurance of all things quantifiable. From this perspective, the softer psychological and social approaches to longevity may sound a bit confusing. You can’t get a friendship-meter to check how well you are doing in terms of your social connections. Are you kind enough? Grateful enough? Is your kid’s empathy level sufficient to give them a long and healthy life? After all, empathy does not come in “milligrams per 100 grams” no matter how I wish it did.